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When do you think you'll be done, Earl?-[src]
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| Previous: | A Day at the Museum |
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| Episode: | Alligators and Handbags |
| Next: | Blythe's Big Idea |
Blythe: [Humming]
Roger: Blythe, who's your favorite father?
Blythe: Hmm, let's see... There's that one on TV with the extraordinarily large head who tells corny jokes.
Roger: Who's that?
Blythe: Never mind.
Roger: Well, anyway, you're gonna be very happy when you hear who I met today!
Blythe: Really? Who?
Roger: My flight home from Switzerland was chartered for a single-pet passenger on her way home from a spa vacation. Who was that passenger, you ask? A hairless Egyptian sphynx cat named Cairo belonging to-
Blythe: [Gasp] Mona Autumn? Fashion editor-in-chief of Tres Blase Magazine?! [Scream]
Roger: That's right! She was waiting for her precious kitty at the airport, and I met her! Naturally, I told her about my daughter who went to a prestigious fashion camp and came up with a pet backpack that was the hit of the camp!
Blythe: Oh no, dad! You didn't!
Roger: I did! And it just so happens she has a big feature coming up on backpacks and handbags and I convinced her not only to meet with you, but to give you her opinion on your designs! The appointment is set for this afternoon! [Smooch] I know, you're speechless. That's okay! You can thank me later! [Singing] Father of the year!
Vinnie: Hehe! Yo, Blythe! You look greener than me!
Pepper: What's the problem?
Blythe: The problem is that we're talking about Mona Autumn! One nod from her and you can have an amazing career in fashion!
Penny Ling: She sounds great!
Blythe: But she's also known for being really mean. She cuts fashion wannabes into little pieces if she doesn't like their designs!
Pets: Ohhhh...
Penny Ling: She sounds terrible!
Zoe: Blythe, darling, the reputation of this Mona person isn't anything to be scared of. She eats and sleeps just like anyone else.
Minka: [Eating] [Snoring]
Zoe: Well, almost anyone else.
[Door opens]
Mrs. Twombly: Hello! Welcome to Littlest Pet Shop! Are you looking for day care for your sweet little pet partner?
[Growling]
Mrs. Twombly: Eh, I'll take that as a yes. Well, sweeties, say hello to your new friend. This is Wiggles McSunbask.
[Rattling]
Pets: [Gasp]
Russell: Um... heeelllo?
Wiggles: [Growling]
Zoe: He eats and sleeps just like everyone else!
Russell: It's... nice to meet you, Wiggles!
Pets: Aaaah!
Pepper: He eats and sleeps just like everyone else, huh, Zoe?
Blythe: UGGGGH!
Zoe: What was the matter with that backpack design, Blythe? I thought it was fantabulous.
Minka: Yeah, they're all neat!
Blythe: That one was ick, this one was meh, and that one was blegh! Mona Autmn won't like any of these!
Pepper: So show her your pet pack! That's great!
Blythe: I'm not gonna show her something I made at camp.
Zoe: Darling, your designs are spectacular, each and every... alright, this one is rather meh. But the point is, you don't know what this Mona person is going to like.
Blythe: Of course I do! It's so simple - she likes designs that are long but short, poofy but flat, silky but rough.
Vinnie: Simple, right.
Blythe: I only have one shot with Mona Autumn and if I blow it, I could ruin any chance I have at a future in fashion.
Roger: Ah, doing some last-minute sketching, I see. How's it going?
Blythe: [Sarcastically] Oh, just great.
Roger: Yeah, I can tell by all the crumpled paper. How 'bout some fresh air?
Blythe: [Sigh] Might as well. It's not like I'm accomplishing anything here.
Sunil: I do not enjoy seeing Blythe so upset; I wish there was something we could do!
[Crash!]
(Wiggles knocks over a box of pet toys, and thwacks the box at the pets.)
Russell: I wish there was something we could do about Wiggles McSunbask.
Pepper: He's gonna destroy everything if we don't stop him!
Wiggles: [Burp!]
Penny Ling: Maybe we should just be nice to him and welcome him. Once he gets to know us, he'll love us!
Vinnie: Ohhhh! This ain't gonna be pretty!
Penny Ling: Hi, there! My name is Penny Ling, and I just wanted to welcome you to-
Wiggles: Raaaaaaaaar!
Penny Ling: EEEEP! He doesn't care for nice!
Pepper: Hyeah! Let me try! After all, everyone understands comedy, amirite? [Humming] Hey, Wiggles! I got a joke for you: How many alligators does it take to change a water dish?
Wiggles: Raaaaaaaaar!
Pepper: Aaaaaaah! Must've already heard that one!
Vinnie: Alright, I'll talk to him, scaly guy to scaly guy! Yo, pal, I know you're new around here, so I thought I'd give you the lowdown on who you need to know. You can call me "Vinnie".
Wiggles: I'm gonna call yous "breakfast" if you don't get outta my face! You undastand?
Vinnie: Oh! Uh, yes, sir, our gatorship! Maybe - maybe we should, uh, just give him some space! Ha!
Russell: And that's how you start a conversation with an alligator.
Roger: A little worried about your meeting?
Blythe: "Worried" is one word for it.
Roger: I've read about Mona Autumn. I know what she's supposed to be like.
Blythe: Since when do you know about the fashion world, dad?
Roger: Since my daughter got interested in fashion, that's when. So, my suggestion is this: When you get in there to meet with her, imagine her wearing a moose costume.
Blythe: A moose costume?
Roger: No one ever looks scary in a moose costume, trust me.
Blythe: [Laugh] A moose costume.
Roger: Ta-da! A hotdog masterpiece! [Munching]
Russell: So then, we're agreed - instead of talking to Wiggles one-on-one, we'll go over as a group.
Penny Ling: I think it's a great idea, Russell. Safety in numbers.
Russell: Okay, then. Let's go!
Wiggles: [Growling]
Russell: Why, hello, Giggles - I mean, uh, Wiggles! Heh! We were just, uh, coming to er-
Wiggles: Look, yous guys. I decided there's enough space in this here pet shop for all of us.
Pets: [Relieved sighs]
Sunil: Oh, that is so good to hear!
(Wiggles takes a claw and draws a circle around the pets.)
Wiggles: So this is your space, the rest of this place... well, that's my space. Undastand? And if I find any of yous in my space, I'll introduce you to my little friends! Undastand?
Russell: Ohh, uh, we... undastand!
Blythe: She eats and sleeps like everyone else! She eats and sleeps like everone else!
[Bang!]
Mona Autumn: I want soothing! Do you call those designs soothing?! I asked for soothing designs!
Phoebe: Miss Autumn [Gulp] will see you now.
Blythe: She eats and sleeps like everyone else! She eats and sleeps like everyone else! There's nothing to be scared of, she eats and sleeps... like everyone else!
Cairo: Hello, human.
Blythe: You must be Cairo.
Cairo: Yes, yes I am. And we're having a conversation?
Blythe: Yeah, it's a thing I can do.
Cairo: Oh, is that special!
Blythe: I'm Blythe. My dad flew you home this morning.
Cairo: From my spa trip. It was supposed to relax and [Stretch] it didn't.
Blythe: Do you have any advice on how I should deal with Mona?
Cairo: Oh, you know - don't blink twice in a row, don't use the word "gorgonzola", and whatever you do, do not stare at her ankles!
Blythe: Uh, right. Thanks.
Mona: How dare you?!
Blythe: [Frightened sounds]
Roger: Imagine her wearing a moose costume. [Pop!]
Mona: (In a moose costume surrounded by fire) MOOOOOOOOO!
(Blythe snaps out of it.)
Mona: (On ear device) If you keep telling me things I don't want to hear, I will put your career into a blender and push puree! [To Blythe] Welcome to Tres Blase Magazine. So, you're the daughter of the pilot that flew my precious little Cairo home.
Blythe: Uh, yes, miss ma'am! I mean, Mona miss! I mean, ma'am Miss Autumn, ma'am!
Mona: Please, sit down. So I hear you're an aspiring designer.
Blythe: Uh, yes, that's right - since I was a little girl-
Mona: Unfortunately, I have to fire a no-talent hack of a photographer in a few minutes, so I simply don't have time to hear a big saga of your life. Is that your portofolio?
Blythe: Oh, yes, ma'am. All of the backpack designs in there are new. I did them today just for this meeting.
Mona: Hmm, these remind me of something. Do you know what these remind me of?
Blythe: Uh, no?
Mona: Rubbish! They're tiresome, predictable, boring!
Blythe: Well - I -
Mona: The mark of someone utterly without an original vision or point of view, or a unique voice, someone who might want to think of a different career to pursue. It was nice meeting you. Rafael, Mona. YOU'RE FIRED!!
Russell: Minka, stand still!
Minka: Ugh, this is me standing still!
Zoe: Is everyone else alright?
Pepper: Aside from really, really, really having to go to the bathroom because we've been standing here for hours?
Zoe: Aside from that.
Pepper: Peachy!
Sunil: [Moaning]
Russell: Aah! Quick, somebody grab Sunil before he falls outside the circle!
Sunil: [Scream] Oh! What happened?!
Pepper: You almost got us turned into gator chow is what happened!
Wiggles: [Laughing] (Wreaks havoc in the day camp)
Russell: Oh, if only there was something we could do about Wiggles!
Vinnie: He's too big, too strong, and has, like, about fifty-too many teeth!
Zoe: It would be marvelous if there were some way we could show him he couldn't push us around.
Pets: Hmm...
(Pet super fortress fantasy sequence)
Wiggles: All right, yous guys! Either youse guys give me the fortress or I'm comin' in! Undastand?
Russell: You heard him, pets! Armor up! Super Intelligence!
Minka: Super Long Arms and Legs!
Vinnie: Super Slitheriness!
Pepper: Super Barrieable Stinklar!
Sunil: Super Quietness!
Penny Ling: Super Niceness!
Zoe: Super Fabulousness!
Wiggles: Ehhh! I'm gonna ruin your world!
Zoe: You can't do anything, lizard lips! Not as long as we stand together!
Wiggles: [Yelp] Gahh! (Runs off into the horizon)
Minka: Guh, gah! I can't take it any longer! [Screeching]
All sans Minka: Minka!
Wiggles: Gaaaah! Raaaaaaaaar!
Blythe: (In low spirits) Hi, guys.
Pets: [Pleading]
(Blythe climbs into the dumbwaiter without looking at them.)
Roger: Oh, hey, honey! How did your meeting with Mona go?
Blythe: She said my designs were boring, unoriginal, and predictable.
Roger: I'm thinking the meeting didn't go so well.
Blythe: No, it didn't go well.
Roger: Did you try pretending she was in a moose costume? [Beat] I can't believe she didn't like your pet pack!
Blythe: I didn't show it to her.
Roger: What? Why not?
Blythe: I was trying to design something Mona would like so she'd like me.
Roger: But did you like those designs?
Blythe: Meh.
Roger: Well, there's your problem right there. You were so worried about Mona's temper that you bent over backwards to please her, but you didn't stay true to yourself.
Blythe: Yeah, well, it turns out what I heard about Mona's temper is true. She's impossible to please.
Roger: Then you might as well go down swinging, showing her what you like the best out of your designs, what you put the most of yourself into.
Blythe: My pet pack!
Roger: Most importantly, honey, you can't just give up the first time someone tells you no.
Blythe: Dad, you're the best!
Roger: That's what I keep trying to tell you.
Pets: [Pleading]
Blythe: No time right now!
Wiggles: [Snoring]
Vinnie: Maybe we can roll him out of the door!
Pepper: Or mail him to another country!
Sunil: Oh, or to another planet!
Russell: Or, we could use this time while he's sleeping to make our stand against him the way we imagined it!
[Heroic music]
Russell: Attention, Wiggles McSunbask!
Wiggles: Huh?
Russell: We don't have to be best friends, we don't even have to talk! But you can't push us around and tell us where we can and can't go! We were here first! So you'll take the space we give you, and that's the way it is! Do you undastand?
Wiggles: Uh-huh. (Spins and knocks over the boxes around him)
Pets: [Screaming]
Pepper: Heck of a speech, Russell, but I don't think Wiggles feels the same way!
All: [Screaming]
Wiggles: [Laughing]
Russell: Use the powers your armor gives you! I'll come up with a super intelligent plan! [Grunt] Come on! I'll have to get back to you on that!
Pepper: I'll take him out with my multi-scent blast! Haha!
[All coughing]
Pepper: Ooh, that did not go well!
Zoe: You cannot resist my fabulousness! (Wiggles walks past her) Wow, he really is cold-blooded.
Wiggles: I like that fort you made, and now you're gonna make me one!
Sunil: But my paws were not made for construction work!
Wiggles: Raaaaaaar!
Sunil: [Terrified] Where would you like the moat?
[Door opens]
Blythe: I'd like to see Miss Autumn, please.
Phoebe: Do you have an appointment? I don't see an appointment listed. Miss Autumn won't see anyone without an appointment, not even me.
Blythe: I only need a minute.
Phoebe: It's impossible; she's completely booked.
Blythe: Then I'll wait. Maybe one of her appointments will be late and I can sneak in for a second.
Phoebe: Wait? Here? Without an appointment?! Oh, well, that's just not done! If Miss Autumn comes out here and finds you waiting without an appointment, she'll go nuclear and we'll all be destroyed!
Blythe: That's a chance I'm willing to take.
(Phoebe puts on a football helmet and trembles.)
(Meanwhile, the pets are building Wiggles a fort.)
Wiggles: Hey! That doesn't go there! Put it where I told you to put it!
Zoe: He can't talk to Penny Ling that way! If she starts crying because of him, I'm going to-
Pepper: Zoe, don't! It'll just get us all in trouble!
Wiggles: Now look what you did, panda!
Penny Ling: [Crying]
Zoe: [Growling]
Wiggles: My fortress is never gonna be perfect now!
Zoe: That's enough! We're not going to take this anymore!
Russell: Uh, Zoe? Maybe you shouldn't talk to Wiggles like that, heh!
Sunil: And certainly do not say "we".
Zoe: I am sick of being scared and I know the rest of you are too! I'm going to take the advice I gave Blythe earlier: You eat and sleep just like any other animal! Just because alligators have scary reputations, I am NOT going to let you frighten me! I'm done just rolling over and letting you run things around here! What are YOU going to do about it?
Wiggles: [Crying]
Sunil: Well, this was certainly unexpected.
Penny Ling: [Crying]
Pepper: Penny Ling, what's the matter?
Penny Ling: [Through tears] I don't like seeing anyone cry!
Zoe: Okay, everyone stop crying! [To Wiggles] And you, stop with the crocodile tears.
Wiggles: These are alligator tears! Undastand? No one's ever stood up to me before, and I don't know what to do! I - I've never been in a real fight! Please, please don't hurt me!
Russell: But, Wiggles, you were acting so tough.
Wiggles: Because of how I look, I thought I could act mean and get my way! [Sniff] I'm sorry, yous guys; I'll just go back over to that spot you gave me before.
Pepper: Wiggles, wait! Just because you look scary doesn't mean you have to be scary.
Vinnie: Yeah, if you're nice on the inside, there's no reason you can't be that on the outside.
Sunil: And we can do things together, like friends.
Wiggles: [Sniffle] I never had friends before.
Russell: Maybe because you never tried.
Penny Ling: Would you like to try with us, Wiggles?
Wiggles: Heh, I would! Undastand?
Phoebe: Are you sure you wouldn't like to make an appointment for some future date? Miss Autumn has some time in... three years.
Blythe: I'm not leaving until I see her, today.
[Bang!]
Mona: You, shaking helmet girl! Have the car pick me up downstairs at the northeast corner of the building three feet and six inches from the front door, and make a dinner reservation for one at Chez Nouveau Riche, place an order for a mixed salad, and make sure that this time the lettuce comes on the side! Huh? You're that backpacky-ster from ealier, what are you doing here? Does she have an appointment?
Phoebe: Uuuuuuuhhh!
Mona: We'll sort out your punishment tomorrow. It will involve trimming Cairo's eyebrows!
Phoebe: [Crying]
Blythe: Miss Autumn! I'd like a second chance to show you-
Mona: I don't give second chances; thrift stores give second chances.
[Elevator dings]
Blythe: You're making a big MOOOOO-stake! I mean, mistake!
Mona: [Gasp] No one speaks to me like that!
[Elevator dings]
Blythe: What did I just do?!
[Doors open and close]
[Elevator dings]
Blythe: Miss Autumn, I am so, so, so, so, so-
Mona: Brilliant! Cairo just jumped in and she seems to love it, and I trust no one's judgement more than Cairo! Clearly, you have real potential as a designer, er, Sally, Gina, Lola...
Blythe: Blythe.
Mona: Blythe! Yes, of course. But what impresses me most about you is that you didn't take no for an answer. Let me tell you a little secret: I'm not half as mean as I seem! I act this way to weed out the people who are just sucking up to me, and you're definitely not one of those! Good for you!
Blythe: Uh... thank you?
Mona: Stay in touch, Blythe. I'll be keeping an eye out for you. Oh, is it all right if I keep this sample of your work?
Blythe: Yes, of course! [Celebrating] Woohoo! (She returns to LPS) Hello, everyone! You won't believe what just happened to me! What the huh? Wow, this is one awesome fortress you're building!
Wiggles: Yike!
Vinnie: It's okay, this is Blythe.
Wiggles: Oh, uh - hi! I'm glad you like the fortress, uh - you wanna help us?
Blythe: Sure, just gotta go upstairs real quick and change clothes.
[Door opens]
Roger: Hey, kiddo! How was the rest of your day? You were pretty upset before.
Blythe: The rest of my day was great thanks to you. I went back to see Mona Autumn.
Roger: You did?
Blythe: Yeah, and I learned second chances aren't just for thrift stores.
Roger: [Singing off-key] Father of the year! Thank you!
[End credits]