- Blythe: Sheesh. You'd think no one's ever seen a monkey on a leash before, when I know they've seen me with a panda, skunk, mongoose, and a hedgehog on a leash.
- Mailman: Mail call. Whoa! A monkey on a leash.
- Blythe: (Gasps) My ballet tickets!
- Mrs. Twombly: (Gasps) My DNA kit!
- Blythe: DNA kit?
- Mrs. Twombly: It's for the pets. Just put a little spit in there and whammo, we'll know exactly what breed our pets are. Heh-heh! I'm gonna start selling them, so I thought I'd try it out on some of the day camp pets first.
- Blythe: Huh. Great idea, Mrs. Twombly.
- Zoe Trent: It would be, if I didn't already know that I come from the absolute finest pedigree lineage.
- Minka Mark: Are you saying words that I'm supposed to understand? Because I don't.
- Zoe Trent: What I'm saying is I am the purest of purebred pet.
- Blythe: Yay! I've been waiting forever for these! Dad and I are finally going to the ballet! I'm gonna get my hair done, get a mani-pedi. Oh, maybe even buy a new dress.
- Roger: Or maybe not. I'm afraid we're going to be tightening the purse strings for a while, Blythe. I've just been laid off.
- Blythe: What the what?!
- Roger: Yep. Nothin' like makin' the most of my time while I'm temporarily grounded. I oiled the clips on all the leashes, alphabetized the squeaky toys, rearranged the pet food according to height and weight, painted the office, rewired the air conditioning, and, installed an espresso machine.
- Mrs. Twombly: An espresso machine? Oh, my, you're so efficient. I can't imagine why the airline would lay you off.
- Roger: Every 3 years on the second Tuesday of the fourth month, they lay off someone whose name begins with B, until 4 days before the next full moon that falls on a Saturday. Eh, union rules. Ha. This place totally needs me!
- Mrs. Twombly: (Whispering) No it doesn't.
- Blythe: The layoff is only temporary. So how much damage can he do?
- (Machine zaps and explodes; Blythe and Mrs. Twombly shivering)
- Mrs. Twombly: I'm afraid to find out.
- Minka: Mrs. Twombly's gonna give us a test!
- Russell: A test? For what?
- Zoe: For something called DNA to tell us exactly what kind of pets we are. I'm a purebred.
- Russell: Eh, I don't need a test to tell me that I'm a hedgehog. I mean, look at me. What else could I possibly be?
- Vinnie: Porcupine?
- Sunil: A prickly rat?
- Pepper: A pineapple?
- Penny Ling: I don't think I have any DNA on me.
- Pepper: Yeah. What does it smell like?
- Vinnie: Uh, I've never had much luck passing tests.
- Sunil: And I have no interest in staying up all night studying.
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