Heart of Parkness/Transcript

Transcript
Previous:	Eight Arms to Hold You
Episode:	Heart of Parkness
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Pets: [Chanting] Rain be gone, rain be gone! Go on, go on, get along!

Blythe: Okay, okay, enough with the chanting! You do know that won't change the weather, right?

Vinnie: At this point, we're willing to try anything!

Penny Ling: It's been raining for three straight days!

Zoe: We've got cabin fever!

Pepper: Pet shop version!

Minka: Ah! Ah! If I don't get outside soon and do something wild and crazy, I'm. Going. To-

Blythe: Do what you always do, something wild and crazy in here?

Sunil: I don't know why all of you are so eager to go outside. This rain has given me plenty of time to complete important projects, such as stacking the strips of paper Minka keeps tearing.

Minka: INCOMING!!

Sunil: Aaahh!

Minka: Ahhhhhh! I feel much better now. Thanks.

Russell: Sunil, we all know you don't want to go outside because you're scared something bad will happen to you.

Sunil: That is ridiculous! When have I ever been afraid something bad would happen to me?

[All chattering]

Sunil: I will have you know there is a difference between being scared to go outside and enjoying being inside.

Blythe: [Laughing] Listen, I promise that as soon as the rain is over, I'll take you all to city park for a nice long walk. Okay?

Pets: Hooray!

Sunil: Excellent! While you are all gone, I will stay here and re-stack these paper slips.

Blythe: Sorry, Sunil, we all go together. Just like always. Now no more chanting.

Russell: Okay, so no chanting. What else can we do?

Vinnie: We could try, you know, blowing the rain back up into the sky.

Zoe: Oh, Vinnie, that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

Pepper: You got any better ideas?

Pets: [Blowing]

[theme song]

Fisher: Once again, you girls are going to be impressed with your father. Largest Ever Pet Shop is going to sell its rarest pet. I finally found a buyer for our Indian water cobra. Whittany? Brittany? Ah. Not many of these cobras are found outside the rivers and forests of northern India, let alone inside a pet shop. [Coughing] Hm? Huh? Cobra? Cobra?! Coooooobraaaaaaa!!

Whittany: Ugh, daddy! Like, keep it down! [Gasp]

Brittany and Whittany: [Scream]

Whittany: Our makeup! Our makeup!

Biskits: Ouuuur maaaaaaakeuuuuuuuuup!

Whittany: Daddy, you totally munched up our whole new makeup organizer!

Fisher: Never mind that! What happened to the snake that was in here?! Green? 12 feet long? No legs?!

Brittany: Oh, that slimy thing that kept hissing? We let it out so we could have a place to put important stuff.

Fisher: You let him out?! Oh, no!

Whittany: Overreact much?

Brittany: Oh, Whittany, you're so funny.

Fisher: I don't see him anywhere! Oh, he must've crawled out the door when I came in!

Whittany: Daddy, you're way better off that it's gone.

Brittany: Yeah, sooner or later whoever thought it was going to notice it didn't have any legs and ask for their money back.

Fisher: Okay, Fisher, think like a snake. You've done it before. Of course! There's only one place in the city you feel at home!

Blythe: Downtown City Park, just like I promised. Everyone happy?

Pets: [Cheering]

Sunil: Aaahh! Puddle! [Sigh] That was close. Ohhhh, the humidity in the air is making my fur frizz quite unbecomingly.

Snake: Ahhhhh, just like home! So much better than the pet store! [Hiss]

Whittany: Daddy, do we have to be here? It's, like, outside!

Fisher: Do I need to remind you who let the water cobra out of his cage? Ah. The least you can do is help me find him. There's never a maintenance person around when you need one!

Maintenance Worker #1: Hey, that was a lot of rain we got, but at least it kept us from having to hose down the park sidewalks, am I right?

Maintenance Worker #2: Yeah, but hey, check out the park's reservoir here – looks like it just might burst. You ever seen it so full?

[Crack]

[Splash]

Maintenance Worker #2: You, uh, think that something we can get in trouble for?

Maintenance Worker #1: You wanna stick around and find out?

[Both whistling]

Blythe: Okay, ready to go off leash?

Pets: Yeah!

Penny Ling: Whoo!

Sunil: Ohhh, more frizz! Such an embarrassment!

Blythe: Stay close, everyone!

Sunil: Ugh, I can hear my parents now. "Sunil, your grooming habits are terrible! Don't you ever take a bath?" [Gasp] [Screaming]

(Sunil is swept away by the rushing water.)

Sunil: [Screaming]

[Smack!]

Sunil: [Panting] Ohh! [Thud] Oof! [Kissing] Oh-ho! Dry land, how I love you! [Rustling] Huh?

[Tribal music]

[Raccoons chittering]

Sunil: No, wait! Stop! My fur is very sensitive and so am I! Aaaaah! Russell! Zoe! Blythe! Heeeeeeeeelp! Oof! Thank you very much for the ride, but I think I can get myself home from here!

Raccoon Chief: [Chatter]

Sunil: Was that your home? I hope you do not think I damaged it because I was with my friends! If you will let me go and find them, I'm sure they will tell you so.

Joey: You don't get it. You don't get it, man.

Sunil: Who are you?

Joey: "Who are you?" [Laughing] I'm Joey Featherton, man, pigeon at large. I hang out with these raccoons on account of I'm the only non-raccoon who can understand their crazy woodland gibberish. I'm like, their best friend! Anyway, this is the raccoons' home and they love it here, man, but then something came along and trashed it, trying to get at them! They wanna know if you saw it so they can steer clear of it, man!

Sunil: I saw nothing but a lot of water and then all of you. But I do not want to see whatever did this either. What sort of creature was it?

Joey: The worst kind, man. It was a cobra.

Sunil: A cobra?

[Hissing]

Cobra: Did somebody call me? [Hissing]

Raccoons: [Yelp]

Joey: Be careful, man!

Sunil: [Growling] Bring it on, cobra!

Pets: [Playing]

Blythe: Okay, let's make sure everyone's here.

Minka: [Screeching]

Blythe: Minka - mm-hmm.

Zoe: Ahhhh!

Blythe: Zoe - yep. Vinnie - uh-huh. Penny Ling - check.

Pepper: [Sniff] Ahhhh! [Sniff] Yeeugh!

Blythe: Pepper - yep. Russell - check. Sunil - huh? What the huh? Where is Sunil? Ah! Okay, Blythe, the worst thing you can do is panic because the pets will panic. So get a grip! Uh, guys? Could I have your attention? Now, I'm going to tell you something and it's very important you don't panic.

Zoe: Blythe, you're being ridiculous. Of course we won't panic. Tell us the problem.

Blythe: All right. Remember, don't panic. [Inhale] Sunil is missing.

Pets: [Panicking]

[Hissing]

Cobra: So you're not scared of me? [Hiss]

Sunil: I am scared of creatures with six or more legs, loud noises, curtains, avocados, and quiet jazz music! But no, not cobras! You will not hurt these raccoons!

Joey: Or the pigeon! Don't forget about the pigeon, man!

Cobra: Look, this isn't personal, I'm just following my instincts. Besides, how is a little thing like you supposed to stop me?

Sunil: I was thinking something like this! HA! [Karate noises] Mumbai! HA!

Cobra: Whoa!

Sunil: [Karate noises]

[Whack!]

Cobra: No! Ohhh....! This... this isn't over, mongoose!

[Bouncing]

Sunil: Oh, it is so over, cobra! Oh, no no! Do not be afraid of me, I promise you I am neither dangerous nor frightening!

Raccoons: [Cheering]

Sunil: Do they intend to cook me for their dinner?

Joey: Hardly. They love you, man! You're their hero!

Sunil: Me, a hero?

Pets: [Panicking]

Blythe: Okay, everyone, calm down! We're not going to find Sunil like this!

Pets: [Panting]

Blythe: Ah, good! That's better. Now, the first thing we need to do is-

Minka: [Screeching]

Vinnie: Yo, Minka!

Minka: Huh?

Zoe: We're done being wallabazoo crazy, darling!

Minka: Oh, sorry!

Blythe: Okay, now like I was saying, if we want to find Sunil, the first thing we need is-

Penny Ling: The first thing we need is to listen to this!

Fisher: And it's from India.

Whittany: And it's totes a mega pain!

Fisher: Girls! And it's very valuable.

Whittany: And it so ruined our afternoon.

Fisher: Girls! And it's going to make me a lot of money, if I ever find it.

Maintenance Worker #1: Something like what you're talking about, mister, should be in a zoo, not a pet shop.

Fisher: Well... Uh, I, um... Ahem!

Maintenance Worker #1: In any case, we ain't seen it.

Maintenance Worker #2: Nope, we haven't. We definitely haven't. Didn't see the reservoir break, either.

Maintenance Worker #1: The most exotic animals we got around here are raccoons.

Whittany: Raccoons?!

Brittany: Those are, like, terrifying! Aren't they?

Fisher: Thank you for what I assume was your help.

Maintenance Workers: Mmm...

Penny Ling: Did you hear that? They're looking for a valuable pet from India!

Zoe: The Biskits knew Sunil is missing! They want to grab him and sell him!

Vinnie: Well, we can't let them get to Sunil before they do!

Blythe: Poor Sunil! He's probably scared and miserable, the poor thing!

Sunil: Mmm! These look lovely, but do you have anything along the lines of earthworms? Some juicy crickets, perhaps? Excuse me, but you've missed a spot. Ahhh! Most pleasant! [Sigh] I wish my friends could see me now! It is good to be the king.

Joey: Didn't I tell you, man? Ain't this better than whatever you had?

Sunil: Mm, in some ways, but my friends are not here to share it with me. Speaking of whom, as nice as this has been, I really should be getting back to my friends. Please inform my hosts that I have been grateful for their hospitality.

Raccoon Chief: [Angry chatter]

Sunil: Do they not understand that I'm grateful?

Joey: Nah, man, they're not just gonna let you leave. What if that snake comes back?

Sunil: I'm sure that will not happen, but if it does, I can leave a number. Or not! [Gulp]

Whittany: [Groan] Daddy, no!

Fisher: Girls, we have to find that snake so I can sell it, and before those park workers can find it and report me for having an endangered snake! Chances are a water cobra will be near the water! Now, get in!

Whittany: Brittany, if someone sees us in these... things, we'll have to move out of town!

Brittany: Yeah, and we'll need new names! Like, Whiffany and Briffany!

[Quack]

Fisher: Pedal, girls! Pedal like you've never pedaled before!

Brittany: [Straining] We've never pedaled before!

[Quack]

Joey: Don't worry, man, you're gonna love it here once you get used to it.

Sunil: I do not wish to get used to it, I would like to go home!

Joey: What will happen there? Will your friends tell you you're a great mongoose, a smart mongoose? Well, if you stay here, these guys will tell you that every day, man! Right?

Raccoon Chief: [Chittering]

Joey: Eh, at least that's what I think they'll say.

Sunil: I am sure staying here would be amazing, but I would miss my friends! We have had such wonderful times together!

[Music]

(Sunil remembers letting Minka find bugs in his hair, watching Zoe pose, watching Vinnie dance and falling down with him, tickling Penny Ling, getting sprayed by Pepper.)

Joey: [Sobbing] I get it, man! [Sniff] I had a nest once too!

Sunil: So you will help me?

Joey: No way, man. In case you haven't noticed, there's way more raccoons than pigeons here, man.

[Quacking]

Blythe: Vinnie, can you still see them?

Vinnie: You guys don't call me Vinnie Super Eyes for nothing.

Pepper: We don't call you that at all.

Vinnie: Well, maybe you should start because I see just them up ahead! They've gotten close to a wha- wh- wh- what do you call it? Spoon in the creek!

Russell: It's a fork, Vinnie.

Vinnie: Nuh-uh, it's a creek! Heheh, sheez! They're going to the left!

Zoe: [Sniff] Hold on, I've got Sunil's scent!

Blythe: Which way?

Zoe: To the right!

Blythe: Then that's where we're going and hopefully, we'll get there before the Biskits.

[Quack]

Whittany: Daddy, you have to pull this, like, boat thingy over!

Fisher: Ugh, you girls should've gone before we left!

Brittany: Not for that, daddy. It's obvious we don't know where we're going, but if we pull over, maybe we can get a GPS signal.

Fisher: Ugh, that is... a brilliant idea!

Whittany: Strong call, Brittany! We've never been off the grid for this long that I'm getting the shakes!

Fisher: Okay, girls, make it quick!

Whittany: Will do, daddy!

Sunil: Oh! You could all teach my friend Vinnie a few things about dancing!

Blythe: [Gasp] Sunil!

Sunil: My friends!

Pets: [Cheering]

Russell: You're okay!

Sunil: Why would I not be?

Penny Ling: We thought you'd be scared!

Sunil: The only thing that truly scared me was the idea of not seeing all of you again.

Pets: Awww!

Sunil: May we go home now?

[Hissing]

Cobra: Nobody's going anywhere! [Hiss]

[All gasp]

Raccoons: [Screaming]

Cobra: This time, I'm ready for your tricks! [Hiss]

Sunil: I will protect them, all of them, until my last breath!

[Hissing]

Blythe: Hey, cobra!

Cobra: Huh? Are you talking to me? You can do that?

Blythe: Yeah, I can do that. Now back away from our friend! What's your problem, anyway? Just like picking on poor innocent pets?

Cobra: Uh, it's a little deeper than that. I'm a cobra, he's a mongoose; we're mortal enemies!

Blythe: Oh. Um, Sunil, introduce yourself to the cobra.

Sunil: Hello, I am Sunil.

Cobra: I am Steve.

Blythe: There, now you're friends.

Steve: But don't think you're taking me back!

Blythe: Back where?

Steve: To that icy cold pet shop with those creepy lookalike girls!

Zoe: You're the pet from India they want to sell? Not Sunil?

Sunil: Your name is Steve?

[Rustling]

Whittany: Do you have a signal, Brittany?

Brittany: [Groan] Not yet, Whittany.

Blythe: Hey, Steve? What if I told you I could make sure you never had to go back to that pet shop and you could have some fun with those lookalike girls to boot?

[Phone beeping]

Whittany: Do you have any signal yet?

Brittany: Like, no!

[Rustling]

[Hissing]

Brittany: But... I do have a snake!

[Hissing]

Brittany and Whittany: [Screaming]

Fisher: Ugh! What is taking those girls so lo-?

Brittany and Whittany: [Screaming]

Fisher: What on earth is-?!

Brittany and Whittany: [Screaming]

Fisher: Whoaaaaaaa! [Splash]

Whittany: Go, go, go, go! G-g-g-g-goooooooo!

[Quacking]

Fisher: [Gasp] Girls! Waaaaaaait!

Maintenance Worker #1: Gotcha!

Maintenance Worker #2: Thanks for the tip, young lady; this guy's going to the zoo where he belongs.

[Hissing]

Penny Ling: And you weren't scared? Even a little, Sunil?

Sunil: Pfft, of course not! The mighty king of the raccoons does not get frightened, he simply asks for more treats. So, more treats, please!

Vinnie: Hey, hey, hey, hey! If you think you're going to start playing king with us, pal-

Pepper: You can think again!

Sunil: [Laughing] I am only kidding! We raccoon kings are known for our sense of humor!

All: [Laughing]

Joey: [To Shivers] And he was ferocious, man! And fearless! And he brought peace and safety to the whole tribe! And he had an awesome sense of humor, man!

Raccoons: [Cheering]

[End credits]