Senior Day/Transcript

Transcript
Previous:	Ivan the Terrific
Episode:	Senior Day
Next:	Littlest Pet Shop of Horrors

[Suspensful music]
Blythe: Good mornings, pets. Who'd like to go with me today to the Sunset Siesta Retirement Village for a little pet therapy? I've met so many great people since I started volunteering there, I just know the residents would love to meet you.
Zoe: Well, obviously I'm going. Spreading joy is kind of my thing.
Blythe: Awesome sauce! Vinnie? Sunil?
Sunil: Sorry, Blythe, but Vinnie and I are very busy right now.
Vinnie: True dat. We're in the middle of an epic staring contest.
Blythe: Really? What does the winner get?
Vinnie: Actually, we dunno.
Sunil: Perhaps we should've thought this through a little more before we began.
Vinnie: Ooh, does that mean you wanna quit?
Sunil: Never!
Blythe: How about you, Minka?
Minka: Sorry, Blythe, I have to stay here and see who blinks first.
Blythe: Are you interested, Pepper?
Pepper: No thanks. I've spent more than my fair share with older folks. My owner's parents once stayed with us for three weeks.
[Splashing]
Pepper: Hello!
Blythe: Eww!
Pepper: "Eww" doesn't begin to cover it.
Penny Ling: Well, I'll go with you, Blythe. I'm built for cuddling. I'm like a pillow with arms and legs.
Blythe: [Laughs] You sure are, Penny Ling! Russell, how about you?
Russell: Sure, I'll come along. It'll give me a chance to catch up with my dad Jerry.
Penny Ling: Your dad lives at Sunset Siesta?
Russell: He does. His owner's been a resident for a while now.
Blythe: Huh, this is the first time I've heard about this. Why don't you go see him more often?
Russell: Well, let's just say that Jerry is... a lot of a lot.
Penny Ling: Oh, come on, Russell, your dad can't be that bad.
Russell: You'll see.

[theme song]

Blythe: Okay, everyone, gather around. I've brought some of my friends from Littlest Pet Shop with me today that I think you're going to like. Everyone, this is Russell, Penny Ling, and Zoe. Feel free to pet them, play with them, or even talk to them. Just don't expect them to talk back.
Old Man: I was wonderin' where I put my hairpiece. 
Blythe: Um, Zoe is a dog, not a hairpiece.
Old Man: Are you sure? Because she looks like my hair.
Blythe: Uh, why don't you go mingle with the other residents, huh, Zoe?
Penny Ling: Ooh, ah! That's the stuff! Ah, yeah!
Blythe: Will you be okay, Russell? 'Cause I should start making my rounds to the residents' rooms.
Russell: Sure. Penny Ling has this crowd under control, so I think I'll go look for my -
Jerry: Excuse me, do ya mind? Hedgehog comin' through! [Groan] It's like tryin' to cut your way through a thick forest of veiny trees.
Russell: Dad!
Jerry: Rusty! About time you came to visit me! I was beginning to think you forgot I lived here!
Russell: Uh, sorry, dad, I guess I've been a little busy.
Jerry: Doin' what? Offendin' eyeballs with that haircut? Is that the look you kids are into these days? Who's that, your new owner? What happened to the other one? You finally drove her nuts, didn't ya? Look, I hate to say I saw it comin', but I did!
Russell: Blythe, Mrs. Owens is still my owner. This is Blythe, she's my friend.
Jerry: Huh, you can't make friends with other hedgehogs? Why do ya always gotta be different?
Blythe: Hi, Mr. Ferguson, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Jerry: Likewise, sweetheart! And please, call me Jerry! [Scoff] You picked a real winner this time, Rusty! She's tryin' to talk to me!
Russell: That's because Blythe can actually speak with pets and she's trying to be nice.
Blythe: Wow, Russell, you weren't kidding. Your dad is a lot of a lot.
Russell: Yep.
Jerry: A lot of a lot? What is that, some kind of new slang? You kids and your cool words. Would it hurt ya' to use the English language properly?!
Blythe: Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr. Ferguson. I have work to do, so I'll just leave you two to catch up. [Awkward laugh]
Jerry: Listen, Rusty - I'm really glad you're here. Somethin' terrible is happening and I need your help.
Russell: What is it, dad?
Jerry: My owner is moving to another retirement home and he's not allowed to take me with him!
Russell: Really? Why?
Jerry: I have no idea. I overheard him talking yesterday.
Larry: That's right, that's what they told me. In my new home, I'm not allowed to have Jerry in any way, shape, or form. I'm just so upset about the entire thing. On the bright side, I did hear they have the best creamed corn in the city.
Old Man: That's great! Have you seen my hairpiece?
Jerry: [Shudder] Oh, what am I gonna do, Rusty? Despite what one might assume from about my rugged good looks, I'm not built to survive on my own in the wilderness.
Russell: But couldn't someone else here adopt you? And please, don't call me Rusty. No one calls me Rusty anymore.
Jerry: Ah, nobody else wants an old hedgehog. Maybe there's a shelter for homeless hedgehogs, or I could learn to be a hobo. I always did want to play a harmonica and eat nothing but beans out of a can.
Russell: Well... I guess you could come... live... with me.
Jerry: Ah, you don't mean that.
Russell: Oh, sure I do, dad.
Jerry: I'd just be a pain in your spine.
Russell: Honestly, it wouldn't be a bother.
Jerry: I'd be in the way, you'd just get sick of me!
Russell: No way! I really think we could make it work!
Jerry: Oh, kid's right - that's how you'll feel about me as your owner.
Russell: Stop it, dad! I want you to move in with me! I insist and I won't have it any other way!
Jerry: Okay, I'll come live with ya! But remember, this was all your idea, Rusty. Now let's go, I need to pack my stuff. And by I, I mean you. 
Russell: [Groan]

[Knock on door]
Blythe: Hello, Lorraine! How's my favorite resident of Sunset Siesta today?
Lorraine: I'm just wonderful, B. I've decided that's my new nickname for you. I may be getting older, but I can still hang with the cool kids.
Blythe: B, huh? I love it!
Lorraine: Fresh flowers for little old me? [Inhale] You know, this is exactly the type of sweet thing my granddaughters are always doing for me. They truly are just most caring and selfless girls. You remind me so much of them.
Blythe: So you've told me. Too bad this picture is so out of focus.
Lorraine: It is? 
Blythe: I'm bummed I always miss your granddaughters when they visit.
Lorraine: Me too. I really think you girls will get along so wonderfully, I'd love for you to meet them.
Blythe: Definitely. They sound awesome.
[Thudding]
Blythe: Uh, I'll be right back.
Russell: [Straining]
Blythe: Russell? What's going on?
Russell: Um... well... you see... 
Blythe: Maybe you should put the boxes down.
Russell: This is my dad's stuff. His owner Larry is moving to a new home and can't take dad with him, so he's going to live with me.
Blythe: Really? That is so nice of you.
Russell: I was thinking more along the lines of completely coo-coo, but what can I do? He's my dad.
Jerry: Hey! Less talk, more move! I wanna be unpacked and settled in before dinner! Speaking of, I eat at four. We eat any later, and I'm gonna be up all night starring in a one-man show called Bladder Wars!
Blythe: Your dad knows that I'm your ride back, right?
Russell: Not a clue.
Jerry: Chop chop, Rusty! I'm not gettin' any younger!
Zoe: Heeeeeeeelp meeeeeeee!

Russell: There. All unpacked, dad.
[Toilet flushing]
Russell: Dad? Where'd you go?
Jerry: Ah, is this where we sleep?
Russell: Comfy and cozy, right?
Jerry: We're too close to the heater! And when was the last time someone washed that pillowcase?
Russell: Uhh...
Jerry: Look, I'll take your pillow and you can lose sleep worrying about your allergies flaring up. Hey, how warm is your owner's lap? Not for nothing, but I could use a little cuddle time tonight.
Russell: [Groaning]
Jerry: What'sa matter? Got a migraine?

Russell: [Big yawn] Huh?! Hey! That's my breakfast!
Jerry: Eh, mine was mushy. [Gulps] You can have it.
Russell: Oh! [Gag]

Jerry: [Snoring loudly] Hey, I was watchin' that!
Russell: [Groan]
Jerry: [Snoring loudly]

Jerry: [Snoring]

[Door closes]
Russell: [Sigh]
Jerry: Hey-a, Rusty!
Russell: [Groan]
Jerry: Another migraine?

Lorraine: Thank you so much for coming early to help me get ready for my granddaughters' visit, B.
Blythe: It's my pleasure, Lorraine. I want you to look your prettiest for them.
Lorraine: And that is just what they'd be doing for me if you were the one coming to visit. I just know you girls are going to be BFFLs - Best Friends For Life! Did I get that right?
Blythe: [Laugh] Close enough. Aaaaand we're done. Oh, you look gorgeous, Lorraine. Now, why don't you take a little walk while I get your room ready for their visit?
Lorraine: You're such a deary. Are you sure you and my granddaughters weren't separated at birth? [Laughs]
Blythe: I've got to say, I'm pretty excited to meet these girls.

Jerry: So this is where we spend the day, huh? What time's bingo?
Russell: No bingo at day camp, dad.
Jerry: So what are we supposed to do to pass the time, talk to each other?
Russell: Well, it wouldn't hurt you to get to know my friends, [In undertone] and leave me alone for five minutes.
Jerry: Come again? My left ear is a little wonky.
Russell: Never mind. Here, this is my friend Zoe.
Jerry: Oh, I remember this cutie! We met on the ride back from Sunset Siesta! Rusty didn't tell me you were such good friends with a supermodel!
Zoe: Oh, my! Thank you!
Russell: Aaaand moving along. This is Vinnie.
Jerry: What are you, some kind of komodo dragon?
Vinnie: Gecko, actually.
Jerry: Huh, well, guess that means you won't try to eat me. But if you do have a taste for hedgehog, try Rusty first. He's young and soft. I mean, look at him - when do you think was the last time he even looked at at dumbbell?
Vinnie: [Laughing] A dumbbell! You're killing me!
Jerry: What's the matter with this one?
Vinnie: [Laughing] Rusty, why didn't you tell us your dad was so funny?
Pepper: I'm Pepper, Mr. Russell's dad. I thought I knew comedy, but looks like I have much to learn! Teach me, master.
Jerry: Hey, what do I know from comedy? I just know what makes me laugh, like how Rusty's nose whistles while he snores. Now that's funny!
Pets: [Laughing]
[Steam whistle]
Jerry: It's the kookiest thing - I'm trying to sleep and this one is using his schnozz to referee a basketball game.
[All laughing]
Russell: That's it! I can't take it anymore! Dad, you are driving me out of my mind! You are the one who leaves you quills in the bathroom sink every morning, you are the one who eats all my food, and you are the one who follows me everywhere I go so I never have one second of privacy to myself! You are a nuisance, and I, Russell, am doing everything I can to help you, but you make it impossible! I'm done! Finished! Tapping out! Uncle! [Breathing hard]
Vinnie: Uncle? I thought Jerry was your dad.
Jerry: Well... now that I know how you really feel, I'll just pack up my things and be on my way. I'm sorry I'm so horrible to live with. It was nice meeting all of you. When you see me living out of a box on the street, be sure to say, "Hello" and maybe throw your spare change in my direction.
Russell: Dad, come on, don't be so dramatic.

Blythe: Gotta admit, this is perfect.
Lorraine: Hurry, girls. B is waiting for us in my room. She's so excited to meet you.
Whittany: Finally, gran gran. We've been, like, raving about B since the day she started.
​Blythe: [Gasp] Lorraine's sweet granddaughters are... the Biskits?!

Blythe: Aah! [Whimpering] OMG! There's no escape!
Lorraine: Hmm, looks like B isn't here. Well, I'm sure she'll be back soon.
Whittany: Whoa! I, like, love how she decorated your room, gran gran!
Brittany: Gran gran, from everything you've told us, there's, like, no way we won't be friends with this girl. And Whittany, your idea to bring B a gift for being so nice to gran gran was, like, totally awesome!
Blythe: Is this really happening?!

Russell: Look, I know I was harsh on my dad, but you don't know what it's been like since he got here! He's never satisfied with his own meals, I can't even touch the TV remote, and he follows me everywhere I go!
Penny Ling: Russell, I'm sure he doesn't follow you everywhere.
Russell: Ever-y-where! Look, it's not that I want my dad to leave, but he's just so hard to live with. I feel like we have nothing in common.
Sunil: How do you know for sure?
Russell: Huh?
Sunil: Jerry just moved in with you. He's been uprooted from his nice, comfortable life with his owner. Maybe if you give him more time to get used to his new surroundings, things will be better, and you two will get along swimmingly!
Vinnie: Let's not get crazy.
Russell: Well, you know what they say - you can't teach an old hedgehog new tricks.
Zoe: That may be true, darling, but perhaps Jerry can teach you a few things he's learned along the way.
Russell: Hmm. Maybe you're right. In any case, I need to find my dad and apologize. 

Blythe: I could be stuck in here for hours! What am I going to do?! What am I going to do?! Think, Blythe, think!
Whittany: Brittany, I have an idea thingy!
Brittany: You do?
Whittany: Yeah. Why don't we, like, go to the commons room and get some old-school board games to play with gran gran and soon-to-be BFF? BFF? Get it, Britt? [Laugh]
Brittany: B, like her name? Good one, Whitt! You're totes hilar!
Biskits: [Kissing]
Whittany: We'll be right back, gran gran!
Lorraine: [Sigh] They are the nicest girls! [Snoring]
Blythe: This is my chance! 
Whittany: We forgot to ask what board game we'd like to- Aah! Blythe?!
Brittany: What are you doing here?!
Lorraine: [Snoring] Ah! B!
Whittany: You're B?!
Blythe: Surprise!

Russell: Waiting for me to pack your box for you, dad? Well, I'm here to say I won't do it because... I don't want you to go. I know it can't be easy for you to start a new life here with me and I need to be more respectful of that. If you want to eat my food instead of yours or follow me everywhere I go or just do... whatever, you can. It's totally fine.
Jerry: Ah... I admit I had a good thing going with Larry. My life at Sunset Siesta is all I know. But I owe you an apology too. I feel like I've been a pain in your spine, which is exactly what I didn't want to be. I can be a little prickly sometimes. Comes with being a hedgehog, I guess. So I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of your friends.
Russell: Ah, that's okay, dad. We embarrass ourselves in front of each other all the time.

Whittany: Gran gran, this is the girl who reminds you of us?
Blythe: Huh, I'm B! I mean, Blythe. And it is so nice to meet you! Let me guess, you're Whittany.
Whittany: Like, uh-huh.
Blythe: Which makes you Brittany! [Awkward laugh] You so totally look like a Brittany!
Brittany: I, like, know.
Blythe: This is so great! I've heard so much about Lorraine's sweet and loving granddaughters! So much so that I think you had to be too good to be true, but here you are! And I have to say, [Awkward laugh] I still find it hard to believe!
Biskits: Us too!
Lorraine: Oh, B, the girls brought you a gift.
Blythe: For me? That's so sweet! Oh, wow, I love it! I can't wait to wear it!
Lorraine: Oh, try it on now!
Biskits: No!
Blythe: Great idea, Lorraine! Ah! It's totally my size! I might never take it off!
Biskits: Ugh, greeeaaat!
Lorraine: I told you my granddaughters were the sweetest. And now you can all be BFFLs!
Blythe: Total BFFLs!
Brittany: Ugh! Well, so nice meeting you, Blythe, but we don't want to, like, keep you from whatever you do!
Whittany: We'll just walk you out.
Lorraine: Oh, those girls as friends does a gran gran's heart good!
Brittany: Eeeugh! OMG! That was, like, the worst!
Blythe: [Laughing] I can't believe you two are the sweet, loving granddaughters Lorraine's been telling me about!
Whittany: And we can't believe you are her favorite volunteer!
Brittany: You! As if!
Blythe: Well, I am a pretty good volunteer.
Whittany: It took everything in me not to, like, scream!
Blythe: Me, too. 
Brittany: And to think gran gran wanted us all to be BFFs! 
Blythe & Biskits: As if! [Laughing]
Blythe: Never happening.
Biskits: Never!
Whittany: Listen up, B - you can, like, keep being gran gran's favorite volunteer as long as we're never here at the same time you are.
Blythe: Fine by me.
Brittany: And you can never ruin our reputation by telling anyone how nice we can be. Understand?
Blythe: [Scoff] Like anyone would believe me anyway.
Whittany: Oh, and you can keep that adorable kitty cat sweater.
Brittany: We'd never wear it.
Blythe: Perfect. I'll think of you both whenever I wear it.
Biskits: [Gag] Please, don't.

Blythe: Larry! What are you doing here?
Larry: I'm here to pick up Jerry and take him to my new place.
Blythe: But I thought Jerry wasn't allowed at your new place.
Larry: Well, it seems I was mistaken about that. They didn't say I wasn't allowed to have Larry. They said I'm not allowed to have jeggings. 
Blythe: Oh...
Larry: Too bad too because I just bought a dozen of them...
Jerry: So, you okay with me going back to live with Larry?
Russell: Dad, he's your owner! Of course I'm okay! It's the way it should be.
Jerry: You're the best son a hedgehog could ever ask for. I'll come back and visit often! 
Russell: Maybe not too often.
Larry: Jerry! There you are! You'll love our new place, Jerry! It's nice and quiet! Not for nothing, but this place seems like a lot of lot.

[End credits]